Day 24 – morning

Ah yesterday i had a lovely day! I did great on the competition and everyone around me was super awesome and supportive. Even Him! He was there for me, checking up on my progress, being happy for me and for my records and everything.

I felt like maybe i’m okay. Its been days since i had a panic attack and i was thinking maybe keeping this blog running is unnecesarry. Like we found the balance and i wont get upset ever again. How nice it would be though…

Well, as always, this really was not the case. I woke up feeling shit today. Its been an hour since, and i cant get rid of the feeling… im holding back everything trying to burst into tears. I feel lonely. Alone. I have so many people around me but now i feel none of them are real.

Ah its bullshit. Fuck it. I wont let myself sink into this. Up is the way to go. 

Fuck sadness!
Fuck loneliness!
Fuck everything!