Day 3 – afternoon

I’ve started to clean the flat and after like 40 mins I’ve just sat down to rest a second. To think and now… I need to touch myself. It’s crazy how horny I can get by only thinking of Him. And the strange thing is… almost everything reminds me of Him. I have these ben wa balls.. I used to send Him videos of me inserting or pulling them out… He loved those… Now I can’t use them without thinking of Him.

A few weeks ago I needed His permission to touch myself. I won’t tell Him now. He’s busy and I can’t make things how they were before. He can, but not me. I hope He will, in time, but I have to be patient, I have to let Him decide how this will be from now on. Everything is up to Him.

But the thing is… It’s a bit hard to talk about this, even here, even to you.. How can I put this… When we have sex with my boyfriend, I don’t want him to make me come. I’d rather please myself later on when his not around.. I still enjoy having sex with him and i like to please him of course, but my pleasure?

I want to offer it to Him somehow, even though He won’t ever find it out. Yes, I know, I’ve sent Him the link to this, but He said He won’t really be around reading it. So I will go with “never” here and continue to write as that.

Anyway… I feel like if I’m pleasing myself thinking of Him, I somehow can get closer to Him…

And that’s what i need right now…
I’m not gonna watch His videos though.
Not just yet…
God, I’m so wet…
I want His cock…

I want it inside me… I want Him to fuck me from behind while holding me by my throat whispering filth to my ears… I want to hear Him moan, I wanna feel Him come inside me just when I would faint from choking He’d relax His grip and let me breathe again… God I need Him here!

Day 1 – night

Its not getting any easier with Him being all sweet the whole day… after that morning fight we had we stopped texting for an hour or two. Then i was the one who broke the silence but since then He is so nice and sweet… He keeps calling me Sweetie. He knows i love it. i miss Him so bad… I miss the dirty talk, the sex – even though it was only virtual. I’ve been horny the whole fucking day, thinking about Him, replaying conversation we had in my head… Thinking of His cock, imagining how it would feel inside me… His hands on my throat, gripping it tight, fucking me from behind really hard… God I’m so wet!

I miss Him calling me His whore… and i miss our breathing game the most…
He used to tell me when to take a deep breath and He made me hold it in. Telling me to imagine His cock inside me, telling me to fuck myself as He would me. Telling me how many fingers do i have to use and when and how deep should i go… Then He would let me breathe out… God it was PERFECT. And He took it away from me!

He said I should always remember how He loves me and doing this for both of us, but this is simply cruel. When He watched me i could see on Him how He enjoyed it! Why would He want to stop then?

Ahh i cant take this! I cant live without Him, without my perfect man!