Filth – Part 5 – Chloe

Filth – part 1 – Chloe
Filth – Part 2 – John
Filth – Part 3 – John
Filth – Part 4 – Chloe

Dim lights. Distorted noises. White.

Where am I?

His voice.

What happened?

Whispering to my ear. White again. More noises.
“Wake up….” (more white) “…perfect…” (what is he saying?) “…deserve….” (it doesn’t make any sense!) “…kill you…”

Everything is crystal clear now. I am in my bed. Almost naked, wearing only my underwear. I feel adrenaline rushing through my veins, I can feel my heartbeat getting faster and faster. I’m opening my eyes now, he is kneeling on top off me his face is next to mine. He is dressed up. I can see him smiling, his eyes flashing. I can see something in his eyes, something horrible. I can’t put my finger on it but it makes me petrified. I want to shove him off of me, but I can’t move my arms. Fuck! I’m tied down! Oh God, this is gonna be the end of me! Fuck, fuck, fuck! I try to get my hands out but the rope he used is only getting tighter as I’m trying to free myself. I’m screaming now, but I can’t hear my own voice. There is something in my mouth. God no! Please! I am gagged. I can feel tears running down on my face, I crying like a baby. I am terrified.

Now he moves, he’s sitting up. His weight pins me down. He puts his hand in my panties then pulls it out. (What is he doing? God… Is he checking…?) He puts his fingers in his mouth and starts grinning.

Good girl – he says and licks his fingers clean.

He continues to speak, but I can’t hear him. Why am I wet? I’m crying so bad I barely can breathe. I hate him, how can I be wet? Then all of a sudden he slaps me.

Pay attention when I’m talking to you, bitch!

My eyes are wide open, no more tears and I’m more scared than before. I know I’ll die here. He puts his hand on my throat again, grips it tight. I can see he’s reaching for something with his other hand. Light shines on the blade he’s pulling out under the blanket. He lets me breathe now. Fresh air is filling my lungs, but it doesn’t last long. He tightens his grip again and I can feel the cold blade on my ribs. He gently runs the knife all over my body, discovering every part of it. Light and noises are beginning to dim once again and I’m thinking it’s not a bad way to go, at least I won’t feel any…

PAIN!

Another big amount of adrenaline rushes through my veins and even though he still holds me down and I still can’t breathe, everything gets clear again for a while. It’s enough to me to grasp what’s happening. As I look down on myself, I can see red. A lot of red. Oh God! I want to scream! That fucking bastard CUT ME!

I can feel my blood throbbing in my ears . I know I’m gonna pass out within seconds, only the pain keeps me awake. The pain and.. that feeling… between my legs. Hot. Wet. I want him to fuck me, I want him to put his cock inside me. I want him to rape me. I can feel my pelvic muscles contracting as I’m having another orgasm and then everything turns black once again.

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Day 13 – morning pleasure

I woke up to His text… I was horny to start with, He didn’t even have to say anything. I asked for permission to touch myself and come

me: can i touch myself?
He: Yes, you can but I want a photo at least
me: Am i allowed to come?
He: Yes
       Think of me
       Eating your pussy and ass
       Getting my tongue right in both
       And come in your ass
       I’m off, I expect some good images from you

No permission to use anything in my pussy though… So that left me only my clit and ass. I’m not a big fan of anal, i can count on one hand the times i had it and never done it for myself… only like rubbing or maybe half a finger, just for fun.. But He wanted to fuck me in the ass.. who am i to take it away from Him? I got my red dildo.. Thank God it’s not thick though… I readied my camera, put it on my bed and knelt over it so He could see everything. I applied lube and started to push it into my ass. It did hurt… badly. But i was strong and pushed it further. Centimeter by centimeter it went deeper and deeper… the pain started to subtle and as i started to rub my clit i noticed i’m really wet. The pain turned me on instantly… I was holding the dildo on the bed and started to ride it. As i moved the pain became more intense. I started to sweat as i moved faster and faster fucking that dildo, imagining His cock going in and out of me. The pain became so intense i wanted to stop but i had to keep going for Him. I changed position, laying on my back, legs in my neck, the red dildo standing out of my ass and i’m rubbing my clit as crazy.. Then i remembered i can turn it on… It starts to vibrate inside me and warmth rushes through me.. It feels so good i can’t describe it. I turn on my camera again, i want Him to see me come. My body is on fire, i can’t breathe and i’m shaking. I’m fucking my ass as hard as i can and i’m enjoying the pain it causes. I’m seconds away from coming and i’m imagining Him fucking me like that, His cock moving in me, His fingers rubbing my clit and that does it… I’m coming hard… I lie there for a couple of seconds, then i turn off the dildo, i’m pulling it out, it hurts some more then the pain is gone. I’m turning off the camera as well… I hope He will be pleased

Filth – Part 4 – Chloe

Filth – part 1 – Chloe
Filth – Part 2 – John
Filth – Part 3 – John

On my way home I had to meet a friend who was supposed to watch my flat while I had to be away on the following week, I was supposed to give my spare keys to her today, but I just couldn’t find them in my bag. I could swear I put them in there a couple of days ago when we set up the meeting, but they just weren’t there. I was so upset, how can I be that forgetful all the fucking time?!

(Or maybe…)

No no no, shut up!

After that thing on the tram I tried to forget about him, blocked the whole thing out. I was embarrassed, I felt so dirty… I haven’t told it to anybody, I wanted to but I just couldn’t. What was I supposed to say? I man stood behind me on the fucking tram?! Am I supposed to say that he, only standing there, made my come?!

So I blocked out everything and managed to forget about him for a little while. I called my friend to to let her know I haven’t had the keys on me and decided go back home for them and then come back to give them to her. I put on my headphones, hit play and was enjoying the beautiful weather not thinking about anything in particular, until…

(…Maybe he…)

Stop it!

I was only a few stops away from my flat. I calmed myself. Everything is okay.He is not real. He can’t hurt you. But you see? Everything just wasn’t okay. I haven’t had the faintest idea what was waiting for me just yet but I could feel a tingle in my stomach, I got of the tram and started to ran. I was sure I will be safe once inside my flat, but I was never more wrong in my entire life… I was there finally, shaking, trying to fit my key into the hole but I couldn’t at first. Deep breaths, come on, you can do it! I turned my key and opened the door. As I stepped in, it hit me. It was so obvious but it was already too late.

(…Maybe HE took my keys…)

I wanted to turn around but he was moving quickly, grabbing me, tuning me, one hand covering my nose and mouth not allowing me to breathe, the other hand.. I could feel it on my throat.. His fingers trying to find my arteries. I tried to get away but I couldn’t move. I was paralyzed by pure terror. Lifeless hands hanging beside my body. I tried to scream but his hand sealed my mouth shut, I couldn’t even manage to moan. Seconds passed and my vision became distorted. I was thinking the time I had before.When I could live without the fear. Once again I could feel his breath upon my neck as he was gripping my neck even tighter. And then everything started to fade. The last thing I could hear was his voice…

I told you I will get you, bitch – he said.

Then everything went black

Caring words III

He: I have a pic of my current mood you will love

[sends picture, His belt in His hand, looking at me like i did something wrong. He wants to punish me. Somehow He turned all His aggression, frustration and anger into this sole thing – punishing me]

me: oh God
I want You to hurt me
He: i will
me: Thank You, Sir
He: My good girl. Its a good job im not there as i would take it out on you.  You wouldn’t be able to leave the apartment today
me: i wouldn’t mind
I mean it
He: I know… So do I
me: God… i’m so wet
He: Good
       I would roll up my belt  nice and tight and fuck you with it before beating your ass with it
       You wouldn’t be able to sit down for the rest of the day
me: Hhmmmhhmm
Fuck my life
He: In fact I would make you stand in the corner until i needed you again
       Naked
       Hands on head belt round you neck
       Waiting to be used
me: God
He: Show me your pussy, slave
       NOW

[I’m at the gym, working. My trainees are there. But i don’t care. I’m in the middle of a sentence and i leave it unfinished as i hurry to the bathroom, unbuttoning my shorts, pulling down everything and taking a picture for Him]

me: as You wish
He: Photo was blank
       Do it again

[Sending it again]

He: Pretty
       Where are you?
me: Gym
Can i go back?
He: Yes. Go on.
me: Thank you
He: But i want more later
me: Anything
He: Want to see you fuck yourself with that dildo
me: God
Please don’t

[I never used one. I don’t want Him to see.. I am embarrassed, what if i do it wrong somehow? I’m afraid of letting Him down. It’s too much! He is the only one who saw me pleasing myself, nobody else ever watched me. It’s too personal… God, i just want to please Him!]

He: YOU FUCKING WHAT!
me: i am sorry, Sir
He: I should think so
      Whore
me: i can’t breathe
He: Good 
       Fucking deny me again and you will regret it
me: i just…
Nevermind, i’m sorry
I won’t deny You
He: GOOD
       Unless you have a real reason don’t deny me what I want
me: I’m embarrassed, is that a good enough reason?
He: No not reason enough. You are my fucking slave i dont care if you are embarrassed
me: I’m burning up, my heart is racing and i can’t breathe
I want You
I want You so bad it hurts
He: I will fuck you later

Day 6 – afternoon

I must have been a really good girl… He was so pleased with me. And He gave me what i wanted. It was so perfect, how He teased me while i was on my way home, He made me so horny i was shaking. Then i had to take a shower and He only wanted to see a picture of my ass. Then we talked.

He talked…

His voice.. The sweetest thing on earth. Strong, demanding and soft and caring all in the same time. Even when He’s only talking about training or grocery shopping or anything.. it gets me every time. I’m clinging on His words. It makes me forget everything else. While He talks, nothing else exists. He fills up my mind, shutting out everything, making room for nothing else.

He called me His good girl… Then He asked me if i was His whore.. i said yes…
‘Yes, what?’ – he asked.
‘Yes, Sir. Sorry, Sir.’ – i answered.
‘Better’ – He said…

He told me a story. A very detailed one. He listened to me moaning and panting asking questions if i was doing as i was told. I did everything exactly as He asked – sorry, wanted it. He told me when to breathe in, told me for how long to hold it and – not like before – this time it was freakin hard to hold it! When i started to moan in discomfort, He told me to hold it. Then He told me to hold even longer. Then He let me breathe out and i was panting, moaning and screaming in pleasure. I think He enjoyed that.

He could hear on my voice when i was close… He said He wants to come when i do and that… well it was just perfect. He did come in the exact moment i did and it made it fucking perfect. For me it was so full of emotions it made me cry. Then He said he would hug me, hold me tight, He said He would be there for me, to calm me and i could hear in His voice He really really ment what He said. He said He loves me. My heartrate slowed.. i could breathe normally once again, then He said something which made my heart beat faster once again.

You have to know we’re planning to meet in Sept. His country. I really don’t know what to expect. Until now i was thinking we would talk, He said mayne hold hands a lot.. but you see, now He starts to talk about a friend there. With a room. He talks about how He would take me there.

I’m not gonna just hold your fucking hand…
[Pause]
I’m not gonna fuck you, but I’m gonna punish you. You will get what you want

God.. What if He’s serious? What if He means it? I don’t even know which one would make me happier.. if He means it, or not.

But i do know, don’t i?! I want Him to punish me. I want Him to choke me until i pass out, i want Him to hold me tight, i want Him to explore my body, i want Him to make me suck His cock and i want Him to come in my mouth and kiss me after…

Day 3 – afternoon

I’ve started to clean the flat and after like 40 mins I’ve just sat down to rest a second. To think and now… I need to touch myself. It’s crazy how horny I can get by only thinking of Him. And the strange thing is… almost everything reminds me of Him. I have these ben wa balls.. I used to send Him videos of me inserting or pulling them out… He loved those… Now I can’t use them without thinking of Him.

A few weeks ago I needed His permission to touch myself. I won’t tell Him now. He’s busy and I can’t make things how they were before. He can, but not me. I hope He will, in time, but I have to be patient, I have to let Him decide how this will be from now on. Everything is up to Him.

But the thing is… It’s a bit hard to talk about this, even here, even to you.. How can I put this… When we have sex with my boyfriend, I don’t want him to make me come. I’d rather please myself later on when his not around.. I still enjoy having sex with him and i like to please him of course, but my pleasure?

I want to offer it to Him somehow, even though He won’t ever find it out. Yes, I know, I’ve sent Him the link to this, but He said He won’t really be around reading it. So I will go with “never” here and continue to write as that.

Anyway… I feel like if I’m pleasing myself thinking of Him, I somehow can get closer to Him…

And that’s what i need right now…
I’m not gonna watch His videos though.
Not just yet…
God, I’m so wet…
I want His cock…

I want it inside me… I want Him to fuck me from behind while holding me by my throat whispering filth to my ears… I want to hear Him moan, I wanna feel Him come inside me just when I would faint from choking He’d relax His grip and let me breathe again… God I need Him here!

Day 1 – night

Its not getting any easier with Him being all sweet the whole day… after that morning fight we had we stopped texting for an hour or two. Then i was the one who broke the silence but since then He is so nice and sweet… He keeps calling me Sweetie. He knows i love it. i miss Him so bad… I miss the dirty talk, the sex – even though it was only virtual. I’ve been horny the whole fucking day, thinking about Him, replaying conversation we had in my head… Thinking of His cock, imagining how it would feel inside me… His hands on my throat, gripping it tight, fucking me from behind really hard… God I’m so wet!

I miss Him calling me His whore… and i miss our breathing game the most…
He used to tell me when to take a deep breath and He made me hold it in. Telling me to imagine His cock inside me, telling me to fuck myself as He would me. Telling me how many fingers do i have to use and when and how deep should i go… Then He would let me breathe out… God it was PERFECT. And He took it away from me!

He said I should always remember how He loves me and doing this for both of us, but this is simply cruel. When He watched me i could see on Him how He enjoyed it! Why would He want to stop then?

Ahh i cant take this! I cant live without Him, without my perfect man!