Filth – Part 4 – Chloe

Filth – part 1 – Chloe
Filth – Part 2 – John
Filth – Part 3 – John

On my way home I had to meet a friend who was supposed to watch my flat while I had to be away on the following week, I was supposed to give my spare keys to her today, but I just couldn’t find them in my bag. I could swear I put them in there a couple of days ago when we set up the meeting, but they just weren’t there. I was so upset, how can I be that forgetful all the fucking time?!

(Or maybe…)

No no no, shut up!

After that thing on the tram I tried to forget about him, blocked the whole thing out. I was embarrassed, I felt so dirty… I haven’t told it to anybody, I wanted to but I just couldn’t. What was I supposed to say? I man stood behind me on the fucking tram?! Am I supposed to say that he, only standing there, made my come?!

So I blocked out everything and managed to forget about him for a little while. I called my friend to to let her know I haven’t had the keys on me and decided go back home for them and then come back to give them to her. I put on my headphones, hit play and was enjoying the beautiful weather not thinking about anything in particular, until…

(…Maybe he…)

Stop it!

I was only a few stops away from my flat. I calmed myself. Everything is okay.He is not real. He can’t hurt you. But you see? Everything just wasn’t okay. I haven’t had the faintest idea what was waiting for me just yet but I could feel a tingle in my stomach, I got of the tram and started to ran. I was sure I will be safe once inside my flat, but I was never more wrong in my entire life… I was there finally, shaking, trying to fit my key into the hole but I couldn’t at first. Deep breaths, come on, you can do it! I turned my key and opened the door. As I stepped in, it hit me. It was so obvious but it was already too late.

(…Maybe HE took my keys…)

I wanted to turn around but he was moving quickly, grabbing me, tuning me, one hand covering my nose and mouth not allowing me to breathe, the other hand.. I could feel it on my throat.. His fingers trying to find my arteries. I tried to get away but I couldn’t move. I was paralyzed by pure terror. Lifeless hands hanging beside my body. I tried to scream but his hand sealed my mouth shut, I couldn’t even manage to moan. Seconds passed and my vision became distorted. I was thinking the time I had before.When I could live without the fear. Once again I could feel his breath upon my neck as he was gripping my neck even tighter. And then everything started to fade. The last thing I could hear was his voice…

I told you I will get you, bitch – he said.

Then everything went black

Day 7 – plane tickets

God i can’t believe it! I’ve bought the tickets. 4 months from now… So much can happen until then. Lets just hope everything stay as it is now.

I just wish to see Him. To hear His voice while i’m looking at Him. To be close to Him, maybe to touch Him, if He lets me. To feel the warmth of His skin. To look into His eyes…

Aaaaagghhh… 4 months…

I’m full of hope, but i’m also terrified to death. And He’s not here, He’s not talking to me.

Today i won’t get anything from Him. All this waiting is killing me.

 Be strong for Him – my inner voice tells me. If you’ll be good, He will reward you. Stay good, be happy, smile! Breathe. You know the drill:

Count to four. Inhale. Count to four. Exhale.

Day 6 – afternoon

I must have been a really good girl… He was so pleased with me. And He gave me what i wanted. It was so perfect, how He teased me while i was on my way home, He made me so horny i was shaking. Then i had to take a shower and He only wanted to see a picture of my ass. Then we talked.

He talked…

His voice.. The sweetest thing on earth. Strong, demanding and soft and caring all in the same time. Even when He’s only talking about training or grocery shopping or anything.. it gets me every time. I’m clinging on His words. It makes me forget everything else. While He talks, nothing else exists. He fills up my mind, shutting out everything, making room for nothing else.

He called me His good girl… Then He asked me if i was His whore.. i said yes…
‘Yes, what?’ – he asked.
‘Yes, Sir. Sorry, Sir.’ – i answered.
‘Better’ – He said…

He told me a story. A very detailed one. He listened to me moaning and panting asking questions if i was doing as i was told. I did everything exactly as He asked – sorry, wanted it. He told me when to breathe in, told me for how long to hold it and – not like before – this time it was freakin hard to hold it! When i started to moan in discomfort, He told me to hold it. Then He told me to hold even longer. Then He let me breathe out and i was panting, moaning and screaming in pleasure. I think He enjoyed that.

He could hear on my voice when i was close… He said He wants to come when i do and that… well it was just perfect. He did come in the exact moment i did and it made it fucking perfect. For me it was so full of emotions it made me cry. Then He said he would hug me, hold me tight, He said He would be there for me, to calm me and i could hear in His voice He really really ment what He said. He said He loves me. My heartrate slowed.. i could breathe normally once again, then He said something which made my heart beat faster once again.

You have to know we’re planning to meet in Sept. His country. I really don’t know what to expect. Until now i was thinking we would talk, He said mayne hold hands a lot.. but you see, now He starts to talk about a friend there. With a room. He talks about how He would take me there.

I’m not gonna just hold your fucking hand…
[Pause]
I’m not gonna fuck you, but I’m gonna punish you. You will get what you want

God.. What if He’s serious? What if He means it? I don’t even know which one would make me happier.. if He means it, or not.

But i do know, don’t i?! I want Him to punish me. I want Him to choke me until i pass out, i want Him to hold me tight, i want Him to explore my body, i want Him to make me suck His cock and i want Him to come in my mouth and kiss me after…

Withdrawal Symptoms

He didn’t call.
He didn’t send a video.
I wasn’t be able to hear His voice in more than a day.
Fuck it’t so hard! I know He’s not feeling very well and i shouldn’t have bother Him with asking for it.
He lets me hear Him whenever He wants.
I’m not good. I was a stupid bitch, but i just need to hear Him.
His beautiful, perfect voice
which turns me on instantly… which can calm me down within seconds,
which can make me come,
Which can make me feel important…
I need it!
My eyelids are heavy, i’m falling asleep while typing…

I hope i’ll dream of Him.
I hope i can hear Him in my dreams.
I hope tomorrow He’ll make time for me.

Good night